last call = 11 pm

I am going on record as saying this is the most boring place I have ever been. Everything is 20 minutes away at least and that everything is nothing but shopping and restaurants. An if you want to stay here at the resort well all of the pools close at 11, right after everything else closes. I'm 18 years old on vacation. UGH!!!! I keep catching myself thinking "I could be at home tumbling and getting ready for practice and camp." But when I think about it, I'll always be getting ready for something. Eventually I have to let myself slow down and say, ok I'm going to take a week off. Well I wish this off week were slightly more what I wanted to do but I'm just making the best of it. I did go get my massage the other day and it was amazing. My neck was really sore the next day but surprisingly it was the only thing that was sore. We went to Epcot on Sunday. The best part was how not crowded it was. We went all over the plac and went on different indoor boat rides and the things wheere you're in the little seats. Eventually the Air Conditioning was almost tooo cold. lol. We went to Mexico to eat because Mom and Dad had promised Jush mexican the night before and we never went. BIG mistake! This place was nasty. None of us ate more than a couple bites. Lunch didn't really come until about 4 and it was a little cup of chocolate soft serve which I was completely content with. Yesterday we spent here and I got up and worked out and was out by the pool by noon with the intentions of spending the rest of the day there. It was WONDERFUL! I read on my chair, in the pool, at the poolside grill where I had a veggie salad with seared tuna for lunch and I read on my chair again. Around 4 i came back up to the room for a little snack and ended up spending a lot of time on the balcony with mom and my book. Mom and I talked a lot about me and me and corey. We've talked a lot in the past couple days and we are definitely back in a good spot. We've had some really big discussions, important ones. Like our stance on premarrital sex. Both of us grew up hearing it was a sin and we have seperately come to the conclusion that that's Bull shit. No relationship she be based on sex by any means. Sex should not be the goal of being with someone but if you genuinely care about someone then there is nothing wrong with it although it is something that definitely should not be abused which is why I am proud to say I'm a virgin. The best part of this conversation is that both of us think the best part of our friendship/relationship is how we talk and how well we talk. We talk about everything and nothing is a closed topic. it was really a good conversation. We talked about college and how excited he is to go to Marshall and that I had a lot to do about it. That made me smile. We talked about giving things a good chance when we get down to school. He proposed the idea and I said I want you to do what makes you happy and he said i know but what do you think. And I told him if it makes him happy I know it would definitely make me happy. So that's that and we're just in a good place right now. I'm enjoying hearing from him again. I missed that. I told him I thought whether or not there was ever an us we would be great friends but I wouldn;t mind being both and he said he agreed. So no matter what I think things will go well with us. Today we're going to the Magic Kingdom and all I want to do is see the fireworks and night parade because all the times I've been to Disney, I have never seen either and I didn't get to see it at epcot like i wanted. This is seriously the ONE thing that I want to do while here at Disney. So hopefully it will work out. We'll see! Hopefully the rest of this vacation goes a little better!

Massage please!

I needed a vacation so bad! We are staying in a beautiful Villa with 3 bedrooms and a full kitchen and all kinds of other wonderfulness. Yesterday we checked out all the different pools and what not. Today I think Dad and Josh are going to "Gator Land" which I have zero interest in so I think I'm going to see about getting my self a deep tissue massage. I've been planning on doing this since graduation. My whole body is in knots and I need a good massage. So I think that is the plan for today. I don't know what in the way of a workout is in the plan but I'll figure that out later. I think other than that I'm going to relax by the pool and read. I don't remember the last time I actually got to finish a book! I'm reading outliers by Malcolm Gladwell about the secrets of success and I'm learning so much about how it's opportunity paired with hard work not just just one or the other. So I'm going to finish that and then move onto Kate Gosselin's Mutltiple Blessings.

Picture in the Paper!!!

Last night's coaches' tour made the front of the sports section in the Herald Dispatch and guess what the picture was? That one right there! How amazing! For the kids especially! Those are the two little boys. Brenton is in the red and Timothy is in the black Timothy has the kitten in his arms where it was the whole night. I am sooo happy to see this simply because this memory means so much to me. It's amazing for me to look at this photo and know that there is such a beautiful and heartbreaking story in it.

Orientation was so dumb. I felt like I was going back to high school. We even got in small groups and followed around a leader. We looked at student activities that were mainly fraternities and sororities. So many activities didn't have a booth! And there were a lot of people who were just incredibly anti social. I did meet a couple cool people though.

Dustin is a jerk I have concluded. He's just all around yucky so I'm cutting those ties for good!

I talked to Corey and he told me that he is taking me to dinner next time I am in town and there is nothing I can do about it. He makes me happy. Did I mention that he texted me randomly the other day to tell me he was thinking of me?

Mike came over tonight with Whitney and her Mom to tumble. That was definitely fun and I was having a good tumbling night so that helped :)

My suitcase and room are a mess and it's driving me crazy! I MUST get organized tomorrow. But for now i'm going to watch Fired Up! or at least part of it lol.

heartbreaking and uplifting

Tonight I had the best experience. We had a Coaches Tour in Ironton Ohio and there were 7 of us that went. There was Michael, Sarah Dee, Nicolette, Sami, Kayla, Shane and I. I knew all day that today's tour was going to be special and it was in a very subtle way. When everything started to get going I notice 3 kids with their parents and they all looked very dirty and grungy but something about them caught my eye. I spent a lot of time with them over the night. I noticed that something seemed very special about these 2 little boys especially, Timothy and Brenton. Well while Sarah Dee was helping people sign up to be big green members I was the ONLY one (for the vast majority of the evening) selling raffle tickets. I was so frustrated but I knew that who was working and who was not would be noticed. I spent a good deal of time talking with the little boys and it just broke my heart knowing that this night was probably the high light of their summer. When everyone was getting ready to leave they went to get game schedule posters that we had sitting out for people to take. I heard one of them say "I want to get Coach Snyder to sign this!" and so I looked at Coach and said "Hey Coach can you do me a huge favor and sign a couple schedules for these guys?" Of course he said yes and he personalized one for each of the 3 kids and then did 2 generic ones for them to take home to their parents. The kids had no upbringing, they talked through the coaches talks, ran around like crazy but they were so sweet. It just broke my heart seeing them go home with bun bags of hot dogs knowing that was probably their breakfast for tomorrow morning. So I helped them make snow cones and did everything in my power to make it the best day ever. I honestly coulf have cried but knowing they were happy for even a couple hours and knowing I had even just the smallest part in it made me so thankful. Knowing that they had a wonderful night makes me so happy that I don't even care that 4 out of the 7 of us did absolutely nothing tonight. I will pray and pray for those boys and their family.

wedding number two

The wedding yesterday was great minus the fact that I was incredibly tired. There weren't really any flowers and they didn't have a wedding cake neither of which did i like but hey it's totally their deal. However she looked beautiful and everyone had a great time. And when it comes down to it that's what is important. The dinner was great and we had amazing cannoli for dessert (I completely polished mine off lol). They played great music and everyone there seemed to be having a great time.
Dustin's all star game was last night and they won! He called me while we were on our way home and I told him I'd call him when I got home. So we talked for quite a while last night.
Mom and I are headed to Huntington today and will be there until wednesday. We'll come home that afternoon/evening. I haven't talked to Corey since last Sunday when I left except to let him know there was a concert he wanted to go to coming to Columbus and it was a very short via text conversation. So it's whatever. I'm not going out of my way to talk to him.
I once again went to sleep around 1 and woke up around 8. There will be a nap today. without fail. But right now i am going to get ready to go workout. There will be much of that today too. I didn't eat terribly last night, but I'm just paranoid lol.

hangin with my boys :)

Such a good end to a good week! I wasn't at the top of my tumbling game yesterday. It was one of those days that you just have to work through and get past. I don't think the humid disgusting heat that was in my backyard helped any. But Mike said he was going to a birthday party for one of the girls he coaches and told me to stop by. So I went over there and we hung out until a little after 10 and then met gordon to play sand volleyball at a place called Spikes. I've always sucked at volleyball in general but it wasa great workout and I provided comic relief and got to sip on all of mike's delicious creations :). I was under the protection of my 2 favorite boys. It was sooo much fun. At ten til 1:00 I realized that I had a 40 minute drive home and should probably start heading out. So I didn't get to bed til 1:30 (i drove fast) and was up at 8:30. You would think I would sleep in.... no such luck. Oh well. Today is my cousin's wedding and I'm pretty sure it's going to be beautiful :). Hopefully I can stay awake today!

Already Friday!

This has been a great week and I can hardly believe it's friday already! Yesterday I woke up and went to the gym to hop on the eliptical for a little bit. Mike was at the fire station so tumbling was iffy and ended up not happening. I finally found a pair of jean shorts!!! And a great black pair of shorts too. FINALLY!! So I went to stunt at Fusion last night and had lots of fun. Duane and I did toss hands lib on the first try and moved on to cupies by the end of the night. Gordon and I worked full ups a little bit but not much. I was just concentrating on being consistent with the changes Gordon made to my jump. I'm really just enjoying some quiet time around here. Today Dustin and I were going to hang out early but he has the all-star game tomorrow and practice tonight and his dad asked him to help him with something so it didn't work out but it's no big deal. We're going to do something before I leave for vacation next week. He actually called me last night and I don't know how long we talked but it was a while lol. So instead of my date with Dustin I've had a day long date with graduation thank you cards. ugh. They are sooo frustrating and time consuming. But I should be thankful I have people who care about me enough to send me cards and come to my party. The electricity was out this morning which complicated things but thankfully they fixed it in good time and it was on by 11:30. Mike's coming over to tumble here in just a few minutes and I might go to open gym to night, I'm not sure yet. I'm hoping to have as good of a day today as I did wednesday! I'm just afraid of having too much time off with the trip to huntington and then vacation. All I can do about it now is concentrate on practicing hard while I'm still here. The rest will take care of itself. Well I need to get ready to tumble and then I see a nap in my future!

what a beautiful day

Today was such a good day :) I woke up and had a nice breakfast before I met with dr. Kays. He and I talked about how much I need to relax about everything because worrying just isn't helping. So now when I start obsessing I'm just going to relax and remind myself just how small of a thing I'm worrying about and even in the worst case scenario I'm going to be ok. Speaking of which, Richie called me last night and we talked for a while. He pretty much just called me out and reminded me that I was actually more outgoing at practice before I was even on the team. I have just put too much pressure on myself to be perfect and not enough just on getting better. So talking to Richie last night and then Dr. Kays this morning just made me feel so much more confident about practice and then Mike said the same thing today. He came over around 2 and we worked out in my backyard. I was "titties and beer" today!!!! My handsprings were so good that we even worked some tucks. He was so excited about how well I was doing today. So we got done around 3:30 and i left for the farmers market about 20 minutes later. I spent the next two hours there just hanging out with Dad and some of the vendors getting my usuals and a couple new things too like eggplant chutney that is DELICIOUS! We had dinner with a couple of the vendors we're friends with in uptown and that was lots of fun. Mr. Bildsten gave me the best shoulder massage of my life!! Which totally sounds creepy but Mr. Bildsten is like the funny uncle everyone loves. Oh! And there is yet another new boy if you can believe it. His name is Dustin and he just graduated from Pickerington. He went to school with a girl I tried out for Marshall with and that's how we got talking. We might go out Friday but I'm not 100% sure yet. But so far he's cute and actually my typical type lol. He's playing in the All-star game for football so all i have to say to that is...TOUCHDOWN! lol.
So today has been a wonderful day, beautiful weather :)

getting back to the usual

Today I finally felt like I was getting back into the swing of things. I tumbled for like an hour and a half and was done at one and realized I had 2 hours until i had to stunt. So I went to Whole Foods and had some lunch. It was wonderful :) I had roasted chicken and red skin potatoes and green beans. It was so nice to sit down and have a good, hearty meal at lunch. I really enjoyed it all. Tonight for dinner I have a piece of salmon, some salad, and some brown rice. When I came home I had a peanut butter chocolate banana milk shake and it was DELICIOUS!!! wow maybe i should stop talking about today's food and talk about how the day actually went. I woke up at like 4:30 this morning with my shoulders ACHING. I have no idea why and it wasn't terrible, just annoying. So at 5:30 I came downstairs and took 2 Advil. When I got back to sleep I slept much better but now I'm starting to feel that interruption in my sleep. Tumbling was great and Mike was really excited that we hadn't lost ANY ground in the week I was gone. I told him I absolutely HAVE TO have my handspring back solid by July 24th and he like laughed and said absolutely no problem. So that made me me happy. Mike had me doing handstand forward rolls and the first one I did I landed flat on my back and knocked the wind out of myself. It totally sucked but we laughed about it once I could breathe. So after that and my lovely little trip to Whole Foods for lunch I met Gordon to stunt. That was definitely a sight to see. Gordon was miserable from his summer workout and could barely toss me so i really had to work. It was a great workout for my jump though. The hardest thing we did today was toss hands lib. Which is funny considering we were planning on starting full ups today. Oh well we had lots of laughs and lots of fun catching up.
The rest of the night will involve me taking a long hot shower and eating dinner before I visit Fusion because Duane has a surprise for me and I have to take a check to Gordon. But for now I'm going to sit on the couch a little longer and just chill because it has been a lonnng day!

Finally Home

I'm not feeling fabulous today. My stomach is all yucky feeling. I haven't eaten much at all today and I'm still not hungry but I know I need to eat something. I've been babysitting Jenna all day and I was supposed to be done almost an hour ago but Aunt Boo asked if I minded staying a little late so she could run an errand. So of course I said I didn't mind and now I've been in this disgustingly messy house for 8 hours. It's a beautiful big home that is just trashed. It just feels dirty and I hate being here. It just makes me want to clean but I don't know where to start.
I got home from Huntington last night and I am SOO happy to be back. I just feel like I suck at life when I'm at practice and sometimes I feel like my team mates are asking the question "Is she only on this team because of her grandparents?" when they look at me. I know that sometimes I'm just being paranoid but sometimes I really just feel like I suck and it's not fun. The events were great all except one where I didn't particularly care for the girls I was working with but hey, you win some you lose some. They were new last year and kind of stick together in general. Luckily Candice and Jake who are married were there as well and it was nice to have them because I adore both of them.
Luckily this week is pretty quiet. Friday is Matt and Candace's wedding and I'm so excited for it. I'm sure it's going to be beautiful. Her dad died about 6 weeks ago from a heart attack so it's definitely going to be an emotional day.
So hopefully I will be going back to my house soon and I think i'm going to make a little breakfast for dinner and that'll be about it.

mountains out of mole hills

It looks like things are finally working themselves out. I really feel like I'm getting to know my team mates better and I really like most of them. Some of the girls that were new last year I'm not sure about yet but that's ok. I still have plenty of time to get to know them. The whole Corey thing worked itself out too. He came over last night after work and we talked. He decided that he doesn't need to be in a relationship at all and I was sooo relieved! Now all the drama is gone, we can still hang out as usual and it's just whatever. He's definitely going to Marshall and if something happens later in the year, so be it but for now we're just hangin out which I really like because I don't really have time to be in a relationship. So I really am just amazed at how well the whole thing was handled and I'm soo happy that it all worked out. I'm not stressing about practice either. I'm just like whatever, who cares if I'm not throwing a full. I sure as hell don't. But right now "all is right with the world" according to me anyway. It really was just a week when everything seemed to be bugging me at the SAME TIME. And of course, now on friday all is well. So it looks like God isn't a heartless jerk who lives to make me angry, he's just showing a little tough love to make me realize that nothing is really as big of a deal as I tend to make it sometimes.

Rainy Day Naps :)

I talked to Mike and Kels yesterday. Mike gave me a pep talk and made me feel much better about everything. Corey talked to Hayley, the other girl and was supposed to talk to me yesterday. but he didn't. So I'm kind of feeling screw him ish right now. I was up at 4 AM for the golf tournamrnt this morning and got home around 2. I slept like a baby for about an hour and now I'm getting ready to go to a dinner. I haven't been able to run in 2 days because it's been raining like crazy so I napped. Which I SORELY NEEDED because both times I have been OUT COLD! Tomorrow I'll spend LOTS of time out at the park because I have nothing to do all day and that makes me soooo happy. I will be sleeping and running. I was supposed to be going swimming with Corey but I'm not planning on that anymore. He hasn't texted me since he talked to Hayley so I'm just going to assume the worst for now. Which totally sucks but it's whatever. I think I'm getting sick too but as the week goes on I really just don't care. Nothing can happen this week that's going to just get me down even more. I'm over it all. I'm just done dealing with bull shit.

UGHHH!!!!!

I guess every week can't be the best week of your life and when it comes to a generally good life I score way high on the list! But this week would definitely not be adding to my score because it is SO up and down! Today for example. I wake up, eat a great breakfast go for an invigorating run, get cleaned up a little, head over to Pullman, spend an hour just relaxing in the bookstore and just when I think the day couldn't get any better it goes south. I get back to the car and wouldn't you know I have a parking ticket. Really? That's such a kick in the head! UGH! I CANNOT WAIT TO GO HOME!!!!!!!!!!! Yesterday's golf tournament went pretty well. Myriah and I had to leave early to get her home but oh well, shit happens. We stunted around on the course and I STILL can't stunt with David! FML!!! Tonight's dinner isn't too far away so I should be home in decent time. I'm really looking forward to that! Ugh this week is just going by so fucking slow and I'm just tired of things going great and then not great and then great again. It's just flat out pissing me off. Running is the best way for me to get my mind off of things right now and i'm ADDICTED!

Long Day

Whew! It's been a long day! I just got back from a run in the park. I absolutely LOVE running after dark. It's quiet and peaceful and I can be alone with my thoughts and god knows there are plenty! Myriah and I had so much fun and I think she's really loosening up! We have sooo much in common. We're both dealing with boys we like and girl drama and both feeling like little fish in a big pond at practice. Things with Corey are still complicated and I'm still stressing myself out sometimes but after my run I feel AMAZING! So i'll have to remember what I was worried about later lol.

boys. can't live with 'em can't live without 'em

I'm getting ready to go to Steph's wedding! Unfortunately there's drama clouding my mind right now. Corey texted me yesterday and told me his singer who he had a crush on kissed him at their show Froday night. So now he's all confused and doesn't know what he wants which completely sucks because 2 days ago it was me...and just me. So I want to visit him at work liek I had originally planned and he asked me if I wanted to go see a movie after he got off work. We went to see a scary movie called "Drag Me To Hell" that ended up being kind of funny because it would never acually happen. He was such a gentleman and so cute! He held my hand and made me laugh and walked me to my car and kissed me. He texted me last night and said how much he fotgot about everything else when we went out last night but things were still confusing. I talked to him today and we were planning on going swimming on Friday and he was like "Can we just go as friends on Friday" and I played it real cool like of course I really didn't consider us together yet anyway. And he was like I'm still confused and I ws like look, just decide who or what you want because I have been there for you and still am but I'm not going to be your toy all summer that you're just going to throw away so tell me now if you think this is even maybe going somewhere because if not I need to know. And he said more than maybe but I'm not going to pla games with you. And it's just so fucking frustrating because I for real like him and he makes me do so many things I wouldn't usually do (good things) like be extra out going, see a scary movie, and kiss on a first date (I'm old fashioned I know). But he makes me take risks and I love it. So I pretty much just told him I had a wedding I had to get ready for and I'd talk to him later. I hate boys.
But other than that I've had a great couple days. I'm really working on taking it day by day and just doing what I can do. Mom and I have been so busy that the only work out I got in today was a half hour walking around Ritter. Which I really enjoyed until Corey texted me what I didn't want to hear. Hopefully Steph's wedding will help take my mind off of the whole situation although the romantic setting sure as hell won't there will be lots of people i'm looking forward to seeing. Well I'm off. One hour road trip to avoid stewing which will probably result in me stewing.

Little helpers

So I debated just going to work out and not blogging but I knew that would be a mistake so here I am blogging away. I'm really excited forr today! I'm almost packed for huntington and now I'm just going to hit the gym for a bit and come back and get ready to go to a graduation party for my friend shalyn with my family. Corey is working a double shift tonight so I think I may surprise him by getting some Iced Tea (he loves iced tea) at the starbucks next door and showing up at the shoe store. So I'm really excited about that too! Tumbling went really well yesterday once I finally got moving. Dr. Kays' couch paired with the relaxed feeling of an almost empty Whole Foods made for a bit of a rough start but once I got started I was ready to rock. Stunting went well too. Gordon is making me do more on my own which means a few more slips and bruises and rugburns but it's worth it. I know it will help in the long run. i talked to ach about how stressed I was and he really helped me out just by reassuring me. I also talked to Corey who was struggling with a crazy ex doing some things that were really inappropriate and it was really bringing him down. His band had a show that night so I knew he had to be on top of his game. It's amazing how easy it is to encourage someone and then look back on it and you realize that it was exactly what you should have been telling yourself too. So the combination of the two are really helping. Now I'm off to make friends with the eliptical for an hour or so. I'm takin a magazine and planning on chillin. It's a nice change from my everyday!

busy morning...that went until 4pm

I'm chillin on the couch right now. I was going to take a nap but that's just not happening so I'm talking to my coach on facebook and he's helping me get organized for next week. I'm not doing a coaches tour next friday which will be GREAT because then I can just chill beofre practice that weekend. He reassured me that I'm doing just fine and that I don't need to be stressing. So I'm feeeling better and a little more relaxed. I'm roadtripping monday with another freshman girl named Myriah who i really like. She's lots of fun so I'm excited. the 11th is really the only super crazy day. I haveto be in charleston at 6 AM and at a dinner at 5:15. YIKES!!! But on the 12th I will rest and I will mentally prepare for practice and things will be wonderful. I talked to ryan on facebook and he was really short and it was not making me a happy girl so I'm hoping it's just him being pissed about last night's game and not him trying to blow me off. because that would not be fun even though I still have Corey lol. But still! This girl does not get blown off after going out of her way to be supportive. no no no. So this busy day is beginning to wind down. Now it's just time to start packing! EEK!

baseball, boys, and balance

This morning I'm up at 7:30 getting ready to go see Dr. Kays. I honestly have to say I would have rather slept in. But the funny thing is when I have a veg day like I did just Wednesday, I think about how much more I could have been getting acomplished and when I'm busy I want to just chill. The trick is learning to want what I have. I LOVE having things to do! I love seeing Dr. Kays, Mike and Gordon. Right now I feel like I'm trying to find a balance in the summer of spending time with the friends I leave behind and preparing for the adventure ahead and I think I'm really doing a good job of that. Last night I was going to stunt with Gordon but he also had time today. WELLLL, this guy I've had a little thing for for a while, (his name is Ryan and he plays baseball for DHS) asked me to come watch him play last night. Usually I wouldn't change my plans and I would stick to going to cheerleading. But I decided why not go watch DHS in the final four. So I told him I didn't think I could go and when I could I decided I'd just make it a surprise. Unfortunately we lost but I had a GREAT time and I'm so glad that I decided to stunt today instead. So now I'm going to hang out with Dr. Kays for a while then tumble for a bit and then finally stunt with Gordon before I come home to start packing for my long week in Huntington. Speaking of which. Corey's band is doing great! They're the top slot where they're playing and they have their second show this week tonight! We're still talking and planning on getting together next week.
Well I think it's time to start this busy day! YAY!!!

let tomorrow be tomorrow

The last couple of days have been incredibly busy but today I have set aside as a day to watch movies, play with my new laptop (which I am posting from). it's really been a nice day. I'm just hanging out and relaxing. I've been talking to Corey and I think we're going on our picnic next Sunday which I'm really looking forward to after a very long week next week! Tomorrow is hell day with Mike. He said I'll probably be there for 2 hours so I need to rest and drink lots of water today. I'm doing a CrossFit workout called Fight Gone Bad. I don't know about you but that does not sound fun to me! I'm still stressin out a little for practice next weekend. I just feel like when it comes to tumbling everyone looks at me and thinks "Why is she here?" but I'm taking it one minute at a time and trying to concentrate on each moment. I'm still a little afraid of what if when i weighed myself I wan't just bloated and really did gain weight. Barabara said I'm doing everything right so I don't know why I'm worried. Well I take that back. I worry about everything when I'm on my period! Ugh! So annoying. But I'm trying and I'm taking some time to get my calendar set out as completely as possible so that I can see what's going on in perspective. I just hate getting so anxious about everythin that tomorrow will bring instead of taking today to relax and letting tomorrow be tomorrow.

Sometimes all you need is a friend (or a coach)

AHH!! Luckily I'm going to visit Dr. Kays at the end of the week because I am just feeling so overwhelmed right now! Between working on my tumbling, being at all of these coaches tours, still getting in time to see friends, it's all just really overwhelming. Even as I type this all out I think stop stressing! You can only do what you can do today...which would be Dr. Kays in my head. lol. But he's very much right. I can only do what I can do today. The coaches tour was a blast last night and I'm sure Kels and I's trip to Parkersburg today will be great! I just need to slow down and stop focusing on tomorrow, next week, and next month. I'm actually talking to one of my coaches on Facebook right now which is great because she probably has no idea that the questions she's asking are the things I need to get off my mind but she's helping me soooo much. She told me to focus on me and my goals and no one else because that only leads to frustration. hmmm I wonder where i've heard that before...
Well I'm feeling much better now. I'm going to get some breakfast and get ready for a busy day!

jumbled head

Graduation weekend is officially over. It's bittersweet. It feels great to finally be done with high school but at the same time It's a really scary time of transition and a really sad time of goodbyes. There are so many people I won't see every day anymore, some good but many I'll miss very much. I think it is finally hitting me as graduation parties and such come to an end that I am moving on. No longer is it just an exciting vision in the future, it is now an intimidating reality of the present. This morning I am really contemplating how much my life is about to change. One thing I have not been very good at in the past. High school was a rough transition for me and I don't want college to be the same way. I want to see this for all the new possibilities not what I leave behind. It is an opportunity to grow and experience and learn. I am trying to remind myself of that daily.
Things will calm down a little this week before next week that I am fondly referring to as "Hell Week". It will be all cheerleading all the time. I don't mean it won't be exciting and fun it will just be very hectic. But I am trying very hard to get excited! This week Mike said we will be working hard. I'm tumbling around 1 today. My goal is to get back to handsprings on the track but this time rebounding and pretty. I also plan on working handspring tucks on the trampoline today and completely fixing my round off which is still a little crooked. So today I'm feeling very thoughtful and contemplative. Hopefully I can sort all the thoughts in my head out and make them less of a jumble!