The three words that best describe how I'm feeling right now would be overwhelmed, frustrated and stressed. I just can't believe I'm leaving for college in 36 days! Part of me absolutely can't wait and is feeling smothered by being at home and part of me is afraid of the unknown. It's one of those nights when a series of little events just slowly inches me over the line of mental equilibrium. Tumbling went really well today. Mike didn't have me do my handspring yesterday because I was just sucking and would have killed myself but today I got back in the swing of things. It's like I know he's going to make me throw it and revert back to my old ways so I can stay in my comfort zone. It's so close and I catch myself thinking what if i just did it right here right now. UGH!!! I just feel so imperfect and insufficient right now. I'm trying to just let go and let God but it's soooo hard!!! Mom and Mike and I are headed to Huntington on Thursday. I'm going out for coffee with Corey and then hanging out with them the rest of the night. Friday is the big golf tournament and then Corey and I are going out or staying in just depending on how we feel. We're pretty much dating at this point. He's so great. I was talking to him tonight when I was stressing out and he wouldn't try to fix things he would just tell me to relax, things are going to be ok I swear. I'll always be here for you. Just the most reassuring things. Lately that's all I want. I can't wait to see him on Thursday and give him his birthday present!! I'm so excited to get to spend time with Mom and Mike!
Tomorrow I'm having lunch with Molly which will be a great chance to vent and talk about Corey lol. Then I'm stunting with Gordon and finally hanging out with Kels.
I'm going to go take 10 deep breaths and say some prayers before I go to bed.
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