Open Tumbling Frustration

As if there weren't enough things on my to do list, my new assignment from my Sports psychologist is to write before and after every practice. I had tumbling last night and have obviously dropped the ball already (oops). So while at work once again (yeah sports psychology assignments are more fun than cleaning) I'm catching up on other tasks. Ok so tumbling last night. I really didn't know what to expect. I thought I was going to have a private but for some reason I had a feeling I was wrong. I was feeling pretty good about going to Integrity to work with Mike. Then I walked in. This gym is a multi million dollar intimidation machine. There were people everywhere! Once I found Mike Igot comfortable realy quick. There was anothr girl working with me who has a pageant coming up and wanted to start tumbling again. I was so relievd to find out she was working on the same things as me. I met Chad, who is in charge of all of Integrity's cheer program and he helped us out too. We did some strength work to war up and started working hand stands, cartwheels, power round offs and cartwheel handstands just to warm up. It was open gym so there were tons of little kids there and when they scattered to play on the equipment and work on skills if they were gymnasts and cheerleaders, all hell broke loose. The four of us working together went to one floor with a few other girls working their own skills. I spent the next hour and a half working my basic skills like cartwheels and round offs and getting spotted on my standing handspring by mike. At one point chad had me doing a drill of lunges to my knee and cartwheeling out of it. I started to get so frustrated because the girls I see doing that are usually under the age of 10. I felt stupid and inadequate. I started stressing thinking "damn, I'm screwed." Mike noticed how stressed I was getting and he just looked at me and said "stop stressing. You'r going to be fine." It was so hard to believe him. I felt like having any sort of tumbling by may was impossible. I finished the night having accomplished a bunch of standing handsprings with mike, countless round offs in to the pit, a few drills. 1 round off handspring in the pit and a ton of round off prep for handspring in to the pit. There was plenty more strength work at the end, some time after 9:00. Before I left Mike gave me a big hug and told me to stop stressing. He told me I would be ok and that I had made a lot of progress just in that hour and 45 minutes. I had pushed all my frustration to the back of my mind but it hit me when I got in the car and I just kept thinking about how hopeless the process felt. I know that beating myself up about it can't help and won't help and I also know that Mike wouldn't put so much extra time and effort in to helping me if he didn't think I could do it. I just feel like tumbling is this shadow looming over me and it gets really overwhelming sometimes. Last night was one of those times and I'm working at getting over it. Luckily I'm not on the schedule for work all of february so I'll have ample time to tumble. It's taking all my effort to remind myself to take things one day at a time but that's what I'm going to do.