Fake it til you make it

Last night was a lot of fun =]. I'm sorry I didn't get to blog but I had to gt up early this morning for competition so I figured hitting the sheets was more important. I finally did my heel stretch successfully last night! It wasn't anything spectacular but I DID IT!!! I worked my cradles and full downs and my walk ins too. I was being such a chicken on my walk ins at first and I don't know why. I need to be more confident with them! Stunting went really well and Gordon's going to come stunt with me at the talent show at DHS when I make Marshall cheerleading!
Tumbling went really well too! I did my handspring by myself into the soft mat a bajillion times. It was great that mike let me go and I got to work on more than round offs. I also worked front tucks on the track. Mike was really impressed with my improvement just in last night. He said he's re arranging his plan for monday because I did so well!
The funny thing is I was really outcome oriented today. I think competition just does that to me. I see all these talented people and I feel so second rate compared. I tried to shake it off but my what ifs stuck with me for a little while. What if I don't make it? What if my stunts don't hit? Stuff like that. It was frustrating because I haven't been doing that at all lately. I'll get myself out of it!
I ROCKED IT on the floor today! I'm in the middle for our new dance and I totally worked it =]
Second day tomorrow! I'm going to go be lazy for a while =]

Let's get it started

I am so ready to kick butt tonight! Tonight is another great opportunity to shine. I'm stunting with Gordon at the place I used to take my partner stunting class and Ihavn't stunted there since that class when I couldn't hit anything. I can't wait for them to see what I can do now. Tumbling will be lots of drills but that's ok. It's what makes me better. I'm expecting Mike will have me work on handsprings on the tramp some too. It's definitely goingto be a long weekend but the usual friday will be a great way to start it off. I'm planning on getting some good pictures to post here =]

you picked the wrong day

practice was interesting. I think I'm fighting something. I feel tired and sluggish and my head hurts and all of a sudden I was sore after not being sore all day. I sat down during tumblign and Duane thought it was a good idea to call me and a couple other people out. It wouldn't have been a big deal if this weren't the worst week ever and I never sit out. he told all of us that our tumbling is lacking because we do that and I was like Woah now! I never sit out! I work my ass off! So he told us to go tumble and I got in a corner to work my running tumbling. He walks up to me and says you can't be in my line anymore, you sat out. I was like I'm not in your line you don't spot this line. After a short discourse he told me to go do standing on the track. There was no way I was going to do that because A. tumbling was using the track and B. That's part of what screwed me up in the first place. Long story short he really pissed me off but we made up and it's all ok. I have no idea how i'm going to get through tomorrow and tomorrow night let alone this whole weekend. It'll be a miracle.

I love naps!

I just took a 2 hour nap and I feel like I could have slept through the night. It's just been that kind of a day. I'm exhausted but for the first time in a while I'm looking forward to practice. Tonight is going to be great because we all know what we have to do and with competition just a couple days away it will be lots of walk throughs and prepping. I'm feeling good about tonights practice because I think everyone will be in a good mood and I can't wait to tumble!

"This is not a far fetched goal for you." -Mike

I never in my life expected to look forward to going to tumbling so much! It has become my absolute favorite part of the day. I had so much fun with mike and dr kays tonight. I did my handspring on the tramp by myself and it FEELS right! I can really feel the sit and my shoulders over my knees and the jumping up and the reaching for the ground and then the resistance of the floor and the soft landing. It's all coming together! Dr. Kays and Mike were both really enthusiastic and I'm feelig really good. Right now I'm not concerned with my Best friend going psycho or the test tomorrow that I haven't studied for, all I know is that tonight i felt a good back handspring. Yeah I crashed but I learned from my crashes and got up and did it again. I am on my way to proving every one wrong who ever doubted me. I can feel it =]

3 day streak

UGHHH!!!!! I'm stressed out and frustrated and having the third bad day in a row. I feel like I could cry at just about any minute. I'm looking forward to tumbling so I can get my frustration out. I'm really excited for Dr Kays to come see me tumble. He always has such good insight. I never thought I'd be so happy to go tumble

better than expected

Practice went a lot better than I expected. Once I got out of my mood I did well and we had a productive practice. Time flew by =]. Tomorrow I am DEFINITELY going to nap before tumbling. My finger still hurts a little but it's ok. I'm stressing a little about try outs but I'm trying to stay present. Tomorrow i'm going to break out my little weekly chart. that should help get me back under control =]

all i want is a nap

I'm tired, grouchy, and craving chocolate but really not hungry. I don't want to go to practice. I really just want to take a nap. 3 hours of practice sounds like hell to me. ugghh. I would love a mental health day. My finger hurts =[

tumbling makes any day better

Tumbling was awesome! I got my mind off of everything and just tumbled. I did my handspring by myself on the tramp just like i wanted. This time next week I want to be able to walk in and do it by myself on the tramp right away no questions asked. I feel really good about the way tonight went. I'm tired after this bad day but tumbling made it better even though my water bottle leaked until it was empty by the time i got there and i stubbed my finger pretty bad because i jumped straight back in my handspring. Tomorrow will have to be better =]

turn that frownupside down

I'm just having a flat out bad day. My best friend is mad at me, this government project is stressing me out, everyone seems to be upset about something and when I tried to make a nice dinner for my brother and sister, my brother complained about it and my sister decided IMing her friends was more important. Honestly I'm looking forward to going to tumbling just to get my mind off of EVERYTHING!!! I think I'm going to have a really good night because I can't wait to have and hour to just take my mind off of everything. I'm going to do my handspring by myself consistently on the tramp tonight. That was mike's goal for me and I know I can do it!
I was stressing out about clinics and what not a little today but I quickly got myself refocused on the process. I realized the reason I had an off stunting weekend with Richie was a combination of exhaustion and rushing. I wasn't in my calm peaceful, destressed frame of mind. I kept thinking "I can do this. I've done it before. I have to do this." Instead of taking a minute or 2 to gather my thoughts I rushed to try again. But I definitely learned from it. Now it's time to concentrate on a great night of tumbling. I'm going to take all my frustration out on my tumbling and channel it in to positive energy!

improvement made

Ok so I didn't hit anything with richie today but everything got better. I know I can do these things easily so I'm not letting myself get stressed out about it. The rest of these weeks leading up to tryouts I want to drill the basics and make them the best they can be! I'm feeling ok. My confidence is a little bruised along with my waist but both will heal in a day or so

a new day

*sigh* I'm trying to concentrate on today and forget about yesterday. I know I can do this! I've done it a million times. I just need to listen to some music to get me pumped and I'll be fine. Stunting is nothing for me. It's no big deal. It's what I'm good at. I hit toss hands like it's nothing. Even though I'm not fabulous at walk ins, I'm progressing and even working on walk in libs. I just need to remind myself that if i tell myself I will hit, i'm 100 times more likely to do so. Yesterday I let it creep in to my brain...NOT TODAY!!! Today's going to be sweet. I'm going to be explosive and strong and confident! I'm going to blow even my expectations out of the water!!

An Off Night

I didn't hit anything today. Not toss to hands not walk in. nothing not once. It's ok though. I was so exhausted. Everything just felt slow. Even Richie noticed. I'm not going to let it bother me. Hell, exactly 24 hours before I was doing toss libs. Even though my stunting was rough I finally got the courage to stunt in my sprots bra and shorts. That was a HUGE accomplishment. I NEVER would have done that before and I felt great and mom said i looked great. So that was definitely something I did well. I had an off night and there's nothing I can do now but learn from it and get past it. I have to stay with the process and know that tomorrow is a new day and a new chance to do great. Mom and I were talking about organizational stuff for the weekends of clinics and the week before tryouts and it made me a little nervous just knowing it's right around the corner but I think that had a lot to do with my rough stunting. It didn't seem to worry Richie at all so letting it worry me won't be of any help. I came back to the house and had some japanese food for dinner and now I'm blogging and I'm going to go watch grease and get some sleep. It's snowing here and part of me would love for it to snow enough that we get snowed in and can't go home tomorrow!

so tired

Practice tonight was abosolutely insane! I have never had such a tough practice in my life. My only problem with the whole thing is that we're doing this now instead of months ago when we didn't have nationals in a week. Everyone worked really hard but too many people got hurt in pyramids and from ushing too hard on tumbling. It really took a toll on the team and it's not going to help us when we practice on sunday. I've really been getting a lot of support for try outs and it's really helpful. I'm feeling SOOO good =]

paying the price

Good practice tonight. We got a lot accomplished once again. I'm frustrated with the way Duane is delaing with some things though. We are apparently having a 4 hour practice on Sunday. Ummm that wouldn't be necessary had they paid a little more attention to the senior team in the first place and not left us hanging out to dry. Ugh. I'm venting, I'm sorry. But if I have a chance to work out in Huntington this weekend I'm going because franly that's more important to me and it's not my fault that half of our team couldn't show up to practices. Other than that practice was good. We spent most of it dancing. I'm in the middle =] YAY ME! My stunts hit =]. I didn't get to tumble but hey, i've got 5 1/2 hours of tumbling this week. Ok well i'm sleepy. time for bed

Counting Down

I'm feeling really organized. I'm also feeling a little under the weather with senioritis but that's a whole other story. Practice tonight. I'm trying really hard to make the most of my time left at fusion. Thursday's practice was great and I'm hoping we have another one like it tonight. I hope I get to show Duane and the team my improvement on tumbling! Only 8 practices left until the end of the season and I must admit, getting motivated is a struggle. My heart and mind really are in Marshall cheerleading right now. Tonight I really want to motivate Megan to double out of all of her stunts and really give her a good pop to twist out of. I want to hit the new pyramids solid and get the new dance consistently perfect. I also want to tumble well and have pretty jumps.

feeling good =]

I did my handspring on the tramp by myself =] YAYY ME!!! Today I totally focused on the little changes i needed to make and stayed perfectly in control of my thoughts. I feel so good and I feel like I improved a lot! My goal is to have my handspring perfectly on the tramp 100% of the time by the end of this week and Mike wants me to have it standing in 3 weeks. From here on out we work out the first 30 minutes befor tumbling. I like that. It's a good warm up. Tonight after tumbling I can just see myself at tryouts and I can see myself cheering. It's so close. I can FEEL it just off the ends of my fingertips and it's days like these that I brush it. I feel in control and excited and unstoppable.

A fabulous day

I feel like betty crocker today. I got up this morning and went to Kroger before coming home to make 3 dozen carrot cake muffins, 2 dozen chocolate chip blondies, and a huge crockpot full of mexican chicken soup. My blondies only have 94 calories and less than 2 grams of fat and my muffins have only 130 calories and about the same amount of fat. Both are made with organic whole wheat flour and you can't really tell. They're both fabulous. We're having a bake sale tomorrow and it's muffin tuesday in nutrition and wellness. I have tumbling tonight from 8 - 9:30. I'm feeling anxious. Friday I felt stuck. I'm hoping tonight I can get off this little plateau. I'm really feeling determined and energetic. I know I can do well and I plan on doing just that. I'm a little tired from the busy day of baking and homework and cleaning but a big glass of water should do the trick to perk me up =]. I'm looking forward to tonight and hoping to put mike in a good mood with some hot soup and a couple blondies lol.
"The only person who can tell you "you can't" is you, and you don't have to listen."
- nike
This is definitely my new mantra. I love it!!! YAYYY TUMBLING!!!

Well that sucks

Tryouts are 2 weeks earlier than expected. 2 months from tuesday. That's a bitch. Stuntin went well. Tumbling went well. I'm exhausted. worked stretches and one arm libs. tumbling was the usual. Mike was a little more of a hard ass tonight. I hurt. see you in the morning

Practice practice sleep repeat

Tonight is going to be crazy busy! I'm stunting with Gordon at 5:30 then tumbling at Integrity from 7:30 to 9:30. I'm going to be SORE tomorrow. But I'm really excited because I think tonight is going to be a night for lots of improvement. I've been tracking what I eat with this my diet application on facebook and tried to add more calories into my day since all together I'm burning like 3600! That's between walking around school and all that jazz too but still that's a lot of calories. I got into this OCD habit with how much I eat and I'm slowly trying to break it. But anyway back to tonight. I'm REALLY excited because I feel like good things are going to happen! I'm super energized and feeling good. I plan on working hard and tonight honestly just going with the flow because I don't know what's in store =]. I didn't get to blog about last night's practice because our power has been out but it went reallly well. We learned a new dance and I love it and re worked our routine. Hopefully things continue to go well!

unexpected

integrity's electricity went out so the gym closed. I talked to mike on my way, so now I have some extra time to work on an english paper.

power like the thunderstorm

The weather is going CRAZY! I got a nice nap in this afternoon and started reading some of the American Dietetics Association complete nutrition and food guide. As weird as that osunds I just find it all really interesting. I'm getting ready to go tumble and concentrating on remembering that it's about today. It's not about tomorrow or next week, it's all about now. I found out today that the guy I met at the Football game who was considering Marshall for grad school is going for sure and I'm 99% sure he's cheering! I'm SOO excited!
Tonight when I tumble I'm going to concentrate on keeping up my power, driving my heels up in my round off and not thinking too much about the handspring. I'm going to do great =]

imagine that

Well practice was interesting. I got mucho compliments on my tumbling! Imagine that! We video taped our tumbling and stunts and watched it. That was really cool but the rest of practice was kind of whatever until the last 45 minutes, we learned a new dance which just made me mad because no one would stop talking long enough to understand what was being said! Worlds is cancelled so my season is over March 15th. That gives me a whole month and a half to concentrate on nothing but Marshall! YAY!!!! i'm so excited!!!! So tonight I tumbled well and stunted well and tomorrow I can work hard to keep getting better when I tumble with mike

Time to move on

I love love cheering with all my heart. With that being said, I also must say I will be SOOO Ready for competition season to be over. 10 more practices, 5 more weeks. I love the thrill of competing but I miss the energy of the sidelines so much it literally hurts. I'm so excited to get back to that aspect of cheering! That's the true cheerelader in me. That's where I shine! I truly feel like a cheerleader when I get to be around people and be a part of something bigger than myself. Competing all the time is like another form of Performing Arts.
I'm trying to make these last practices count and leave my legacy with my team but it's getting harder and harder as my heart is more at Marshall and less at Fusion.

Stop Worrying!

Tumbling went well tonight. I had god energy and improved. I didn't meet my goals because I honestly didn't do one handspring. I did drill after drill after drill and got a little frustrated with myself. Mike said I really need to stop worrying. "I will tell you when you need to worry and I won't be nice. I will tell you when you need to be in here tomorrow and the next day and the next day. So stop worrying."
I feel like if I don't inprove in a way that I think I should, the improvement I do make means nothing. It's not just that I'm too hard on myself, I just don't recognize when I do well even though it may not be the way I was expecting. No killer conditioning tonight, just running. That wasn't too terrible. Now it's time for bed! Long day tomorrow!!!

Helping Around The House

I'm getting ready to go tumble, and even though I'm feeling a little tired at the end of a long day, I am expecting to do well and accomplish a lot. I want to get my standing handspring in the pit prettier by myself and round off handspring into the pit by myself. It's been a really productive day and I'm feeling really good. I'm feeling confident, happy, and just filled with positive energy. After school I made muffins for one of my classes (whole wheat blueberry with fat free cream cheese center...they're AMAZING!), dinner for tonight and lunch for tomorrow, pre grilled some chicken breasts for the week, made lunch for my little brother for tomorrow, started on some homemade oatmeal for my sister for breakfast in the morning, folded a load of laundry, put dishes in the dishwasher, and helped put away some groceries. Since I didn't have a jam packed afternoon it was nice to be able to help out around the house a little. I'm planning another trip to Huntington for this weekend and I'm really excited! But right now it's time to focus on putting all of this good energy in to tumbling tonight! Hopefully I won't have conditioning until I'm about to throw up...I guess we'll see how Mike is feeling tonight!

I've Got The World On A String

This weekend was amazing! I tried to post before and after stunting but nana and papa's computer wasn't working. Dad and I went to Huntington this weekend and had so much fun. I stunted Saturday morning with Richie (Marshall Coach) and Josh (on the team). Richie is so much different than Gordon. Gordon will fix my form for me if I mess up but Richie makes sure I do what I need to do or I'm not going up. I hit hands and extension with both him and Josh. My walk in was rough but I realized later that I totally psyched myself out. All morning before practice and even the night before a little, I concentrated on talking myself up and getting excited. I told myself that I was the best flyer I've ever been and I've improved a TON even in the time since I went to Huntington last. Richie said he could tell from our first toss that we were going to hit that morning. I went in with a positive attitude and all the confidence in the world. Not only did I hit my stunts but I worked with both of them which shows that I can stunt with a variety of people. I felt great! The game was crazy!!! We won in over time and it was a nail biter!

"I feel on top of the world, hey"

My theme song for the day would have to be "On Top Of The World" by The Pussycat Dolls. I skipped practice tonight to tumble with Mike. Rebellious and risky I know but totally worth it. We haven't been getting anything done lately so I took my turn to miss for something I thought was important. I totally busted my ass tonight and to be honest I don't think there's anything I didn't do well. I tumbled well, I had a good attitude and I worked harder than even I thought I could. My body already hurts and I just got home but it's totally worth it. Mike was so enthusiastic about my progress but he isn't afraid to call me out when I need it. he conditioned me so hard I thought I could throw up at the end but I fed off of the pain and made it through and felt so good afterward. It was so great. Tomorrow I will feed off of this positive energy to continue to move forward.
My Goals:
End of February: round off handspring into pit perfect form by myself
End of March: Same skills on floor
April: Work Tucks and handspring tucks.
Mike and I discussed these after tumbling and he has complete faith that I can accomplish this.

I knew she was in there somewhere!

There's this thing on the ladder of progress called a plateau. So even thought I'm always moving forward, sometimes I hit this plateau. It shows itself in my insecurity, my off tumbling, and my lack of confidence. When I reach the end of this plateau I have this surge in confidence and my skill jumps up in accordance. Tonight was my spike. My tumbling was great nad I stunted for 2 hours. At practice we worked tumbling and Duane said my standing handspring was 99% me. I did it almost by myself with him barely touching me. Even my round off handspring felt faster, stronger, and springier (yes it is a word). Gordon and some other people came to stunt after practice and it was so great to be able to stunt around some other people for a change. I totally concentrated on my stunts and what I wanted to accomplish. I hit toss to hands and walk in to hands on the first try! I tried tick tocks and heel stretches, worked my twist cradles, one hand libs, cupies and opposite libs. Gordon seemed really impressed. I felt so good about myself and my skills tonight. It was like who is this amazing cheerleader and can I please keep her?

Just Keep Swimming

I've been way too hard on myself today. I keep telling myself that I'm not little enough, I'm not a good enough tumbler, I'm not pretty enough. The funny thing is, when I watch video of myself I think who is that beautiful healthy girl. My goal for tonight at practice is to concentrate on going over competition video with my team and have a fun practice. I'm not going to concentrate on anything else. Some guys are coming from Ohio State to stunt after practice and to be honest I'm really excited to show my stuff =]. My private with mike didn't work out for today because we had no where to go but I did a really good job of relaxing and realizing there is nothing I can do about it. Everything happens for a reason! Staying positive! In the words of Nemo "just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming swimming!"

Awkward with a capital A

Talking with Duane was sufficiently awkward today. Mom and I told him that I would be working with Mike from now on and I think, or rather I know he was a little hurt by it. Things are going to be kind of awkward from here on out but I only have 6 weeks of Fusion cheerleading left and then I'm moving on to bigger and better things! So I spent the last 15 minutes of my private stretching and working on jumps. I really just got better because I got rid of something that was holding me back. I dealt with an awkward situation well and tried to move on quickly. Tomorrow I have to concentrate on being present because it will be a long day.
Tonight I'm feeling very contemplative and second guessing myself a little but I'm doing really well at bringing myself back into the present and realizing that I can only do what I can do today. I'm trying to concentrate on the things I do well and not letting this afternoon bring me down.

A Case Of The Mondays

I definitely have a case of the mondays. I feel bloated and gross, and I have 3 huge zits on my face. I have my last regular private with duane this afternoon and a ton of school work to do. My clothes for tryouts came in the mail today and I tried them on. The look good but i just felt like a huge blob in them. I'm not looking forward to my private and I really just want to take a nap. Not the best way to start my week but hey at least i'm being honest.